It's hard out here (for a Leafs fan)

Dear Maple Leafs,

It is difficult to maintain the delusion of the Leafs attaining Stanley Cup Glory when the only team with a worse win percentage are the Carolina Hurricanes (who've only won 18.52% of their games thus far this season, compared with our 24%.) Now granted, I'm a hockey-illiterate chump who still doesn't know what offside is - but please, Leafs, do something, anything to stop the Habs fans mockage. There's really something wrong when the most valuable team in the NHL hasn't made the playoffs since 2004 (Pat Quinn I miss you!)

Maple Leafs, I understand your lack of motivation. Your fans are among the most fanatical/delusional in the NHL, so you could be ice-dancing and people would still pay money to see you... (Really, Kaberle and Beauchemin doing a pas-de-deux, I am so there - but I digress.) Last year, you guys ranked 121 out of 122 professional sports teams in terms of fan satisfaction - and that's not just the NHL, that's including the NFL, the NBA and MLB - and still people will pay an arm and a leg with a couple of fingers thrown in as loose change to watch you. The only other team I know that gets that kind of mindless rabid adoration is the Indian cricket team, which - when they're good, they're good, when they're bad, it's all with the hoyvin-and-the-glayvin-and-the-CARNAGE! - and from my experience with them, I know the only thing to do is to fasten my seatbelt, put my tray table in the upright position and wait for the turbulence to end.

To conclude, Maple Leafs, the last time you won the Stanley Cup, my parents were still in high school. Sometime in the future, I expect to procreate, and if you could bring home the Cup before my kids graduate high school? That would be great.

With my best wishes,

Sharon

Down and Definitely Out

Now Playing: David Bowie - Life on Mars?

This picture was forwarded to me with the heading, "India-Pakistan Unity At Last" before the fatal India-Sri Lanka game last Friday.


The first World Cup match I watched was the 1996 India-Pakistan Quarter-Final. India batted first, and despite an early batting collapse (which still pales in comparison to the shambles we were against Bangladesh and Sri Lanka) rallied to post 287, and beat Pakistan by 39 runs. It was exciting, involving Cricket and it made me a fan for life.

This year, there's going to be no perching on the edge of the couch, no yelling "Howzat?" in unison with the bowler, no groaning "What is wrong with the Umpire?" - there's not going to be a World Cup, because India's going home early.

On top of that, a man's been murdered.

What is wrong with this World Cup?

A Billion Behind Blue

and still we couldn't make it.

(Picture from Getty Images & Cricinfo)

A Glutton for Punishment

Now Playing: McFly- Please Please Please

Being a fan of the Indian cricket team is like being in an abusive relationship. When things go well – as the first India versus South Africa test did – you think, “Wow, maybe from now on it’ll always be like this!” But then things go downhill again – like the 2^nd and 3^rd test – and still you stick with the team, hoping against hope that things will look up again in time for the World Cup.

*sigh*

Anyway, it’s not like being a Leafs fan is any better.

*double sigh*

Cricket!

Asia Cup 2004 - India beats Sri Lanka by a whopping 4 runs (count, em, FOUR!) to make it to the finals. I know I shouldn't complain, but 4? If Jayasuriya hadn't gone and gotten himself caught off a Sehwag delivery, Sri Lanka'd have won easy as pie.

http://cricinfo.com has the score and uber-detailed commentary - every delivery detailed! Go check it out.

Might go watch weepie "The Notebook" tonight, so am wearing my extra-snarky armour along with the lance of sarcasm. extreme situations call for extreme measures, wot? :D

It's true what they say about the internet changing the way we speak - someone said something stupid to me, and this is what I nearly said out loud, "Oh, eyeroll!" Next thing you know, I'll be saying "smileyface" instead of, you know, actually smiling!

And now to end with my STUPID JOKE OF THE DAY!

A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything!"

(no? was I the only person to find this funny? )

-Cheerio!